Thank you for reading this blog and my previous blogs, I’m very grateful. Today I want to talk about forgiveness and how it can help you grow.
There are two points about forgiveness I want to go into that has helped me since I turned my life around. The first one is to forgive yourself and the second one is to forgive the people that have hurt you or the people you resent from what they have done to you.
Now I’m pretty sure that somewhere, at some point in your life, you have done something you feel guilty about. It may be one thing or it may be many things. You actually may be disgusted in some of the things you’ve done in the past that you still carry guilt with you to this day. I will explain this in the best way that I can. If you wouldn’t do that thing now and yet you still carry the guilt with you then you are literally locking yourself up in a prison of guilt and guilt is one of the worst things you can carry through with you through your life. I will quote Les Brown “If you wouldn’t do it today then your convicting an innocent person”.
We are all human! We all make mistakes and if you can just understand and know within your heart you would never do it again then you need to forgive yourself so you can grow. You need to remove that negative feeling of guilt and completely let it go so you can grow. You can do this by learning from your mistakes. It sucks and I know it does. I’ve done many things in my past that I have felt guilty for and I now know that I would never, ever do those things again so there’s no point in carrying that guilt around because it will only cause depression, anxiety, guilt and all sorts of negative things, it can even leave you emotionally paralysed. Just let it go. You already know you wouldn’t do it again and your only hurting yourself further by carrying that guilt around with you. You need to remove that negative energy so you can make room for positive energy to flow through you. Remember, we are all humans and we all make mistakes. Take it a step further and amend that mistake if it’s possible and only if it will not harm or hurt the other person further. Apologise if you think it could help the other person. Even if you can’t apologise or think it would make things harder for them you can still own your mistake within yourself and see if you can do anything to make up for what you’ve done and do it with love – either for the other person, someone else, the community, your family, a stranger or even yourself. This will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
The second one is to forgive others that have hurt you. You don’t have to actually go to that person and say I forgive you but just forgive them inside yourself so you can grow and move on. Otherwise you’ll hold the feeling of resentment inside you and that’s another negative feeling that will hold you back. There was a particular person that did something to me that I don’t want to discuss here and it was terrible and I felt so much resentment for this person for a long, long long time. It wasn’t until I forgave that person that I could actually move on. I didn’t actually say “I forgive you” as I haven’t seen that person for 30 years but I did it in my heart in my own way. I changed the way I looked at it.
You have the choice, you may still see the person that hurt you but you don’t actually have to tell them you forgive them if it’s a horrible thing they did. Just do it in your heart for yourself and your own life and emotional health. If you can tell they are sorry or they have said it, then that is even better. Just forgive them and move on. You have the choice to remove that person and never see them again if it was a horrific thing they did. Again it’s your life and you can make that decision.
What we need to understand is that it has happened and there’s nothing you can do about the past, it happened. You either let it destroy you or you forgive and grow. If you’re a victim and do not forgive them then you’ll be a victim for the rest of your life. I decided to get out of victim mode and my life has changed dramatically ever since.
You may wait your whole life for that person to apologise and it may never come so you have the choice to accept that and stop letting it hold you back.
Now I want to be very clear here, forgiveness can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do – whether it is forgiving yourself or someone else. Forgiving someone does not mean you condone their behaviour, if means freeing yourself from the chains of anger, hurt, resentment. This can take time, prayer, mediation, therapy, self help. Whatever works for you. Just be kind to yourself in the process and know that you are a work in progress and that you are trying and that is the best you can ask of yourself. Love yourself and talk to yourself the way you would your best friend. We are most critical of ourselves and would never dream of speaking to another loved one the way we speak to ourselves in our minds. When it comes to forgiveness, this requires the utmost self- kindness. This isn’t easy work but it’s essential for a lighter, happier, more fulfilling life.
You know there’s some people that are brilliant and can do amazing things but they don’t feel worthy because they have guilt wrapped so far around them that they feel paralysed. Please try to forgive yourself and others so you can grow. There are some great books out there about forgiveness. Have you heard of the law of attraction? There’s also a law of forgiveness. I am suggesting if you’re held back by guilt or resentment then you should try to learn a bit about the law of forgiveness and let that negative energy go to make room for positive energy. You will thank yourself later if you do. I really hope this blog on forgiveness has helped you. Please feel free to leave any comments and I’ll do my best to get back to you. Remember, I am no expert on forgiveness. I have learnt to forgive and it changed my life so I wanted to share it.
Thank you again for reading my blog. I really hope it has helped you. For now take care and be safe and remember, Forgive and Grow! Thank you.